What Christmas Should Mean

I’m going to share something with you…I hate Christmas.  I have hated it for a very long time.  For me, Christmas lost its appeal a long time ago.  I don’t really know when the tide turned for me.  I think after losing my parents, my heart closed on the idea of Christmas.  That special spark and excitement that used to fill me as child, faded out.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy being with my family and friends during the holidays, there’s just something missing.

Christmas now, is a highly commercialized farce.  Its meaning is wrapped up in consumerism, buying to give, spending above your means to show love.  This was never the real reason for the season.  If I didn’t have children in my life, I don’t think I would celebrate it at all.  To me, Christmas should mean love.  Unconditional, soulful, love.  I do buy gifts for my “babies,” but we have a tradition where we all spend the morning together, opening our gifts, then afterwards, we have breakfast/brunch and celebrate being a family together.  That means more to me than any gift.  Coming together, seeing the smiles of my godson and god-daughter, blowing their minds with my excellent gift choices, the exchanging of hugs, kisses, “I love yous”, are like heaven on earth to me.  Enjoying the food that’s lovingly prepared by my cousin’s skillful hands adds to the joy.  Christmas, should mean simply putting aside all differences, all grievances, and just enjoying the fact that we have survived a hellish year and we are still together.

Christmas should mean, instead of standing in long lines, pushing and shoving to get the latest Xbox, PlayStation 4 or Nintendo Switch, we should be visiting the elderly, volunteering at shelters, reaching out the less fortunate to let them know that they are seen, loved, and that they matter to us.  We should all reach out for each other.  There has been so much darkness in the world this year.  Now is the time where we should share our light.  People need it.  People need to know that more good permeates the world than evil, hatred, and oppression.  We need to believe in each other again.

Christmas should mean, that we should reach into our hearts, instead of our wallets to buy expensive things and give gifts that are sentimental.  Write letters to your friends.  Let them know how much they mean to you.  Let them know if they have made a difference in your life this year.  Call your parents or other family members that you aren’t close to and tell them you love them.  Our lives are so much shorter than we think.  The people who you think will always be around, won’t be one day.  Take advantage of the moments you have with the people you love.

Lastly, Christmas should mean nothing else but love.  For it was love that created us.  For it is love that keeps us.  Love is the driving force behind every breath we take.  If there’s someone you love, someone you want to have in your life forever, someone you know that you cannot live without, reach for them.  Tell them how you feel.  Let them know.  You only get so many tomorrows.  Stop wasting them being afraid.  Heal from your hurts.  Open your heart.  Trust.  Go for love.  It’s the most beautiful gift that there is and we are all worthy of it.  We all deserve it.  Don’t waste another day not loving the person you want to love.  Let them know.

So as you all settle into your holiday celebrations, please keep in mind that we are here for love.  A little baby born in a manger was given to us to show us the ultimate love.  We can  live in that example.  We can continue to carry the promise.  We can continue to believe.  I love you all and I wish you the merriest Christmas ever.  Love each other always.

Broken

There is great beauty and fear in being broken.  Being broken gives you a chance to rebuild yourself from the ground up, to give yourself a fresh start.   You can change something that you don’t like about yourself or change something in you that allowed for whatever broke you to occur.  Being broken can lead you to change or great despair.  What matters most, is how you look at it. 

I have been broken open many times in my life.  Quite a few times after being broken, I have found myself lying on the floor, curled up in a ball, refusing to live and barely even wanting to breathe.  The pain of being broken, hurt, abandoned, and used up has almost killed me more than once.  As I’ve grown older, I have realized that being broken doesn’t mean the end.  Being broken means that there is an opportunity for you to heal, grow, and emerge even stronger than you were before you were broken.  I see it as a beautiful metamorphosis.  We can build a cocoon around ourselves from the pain inflicted upon us, and we heal while we’re inside of that cocoon.  When we have healed, we emerge, stronger, wiser, and better for having to deal with the pain we experienced.  It’s not an easy process by any means, but you must remain open to it and want to heal from that pain. 

When you emerge from brokenness, you are new.  You’re never the same as you were before.  You have to be willing to embrace that newness in you, that’s when you heal.  You are stronger in the places you were broken.  You have let the light come in to remake and heal you, but also, you have broken yourself open so that your own light can shine through the cracks that your brokenness has created. 

What so many of us fail to realize is you have to allow yourself to be broken to let your own light out too.  There’s a resilience in us, this beautiful reservoir of strength that we have been blessed with, that allows us to rise when we oftentimes think that we can’t.  That resilience is our inner light.  It’s often the brightest light that we have in us.  You have to be willing to embrace it, acknowledge its presence in you, and be open to letting it come forth in you when its time for it to do so.  This resilience is the most beautiful part of us as human beings.  To me, I think it’s as beautiful and unique as a single snowflake.  It must be handled with care.  

In many ways, we are not all that dissimilar from flowers.  Flowers open themselves up to receive light.  We break open to receive light.  Flowers regenerate after being stomped on.  We heal after being broken.  Flowers produce carbon dioxide which is used as energy in the atmosphere.  Our light, when shared with the rest of the world changes it and transforms it.  That’s why it’s important that we continue to bloom, thrive and reach for the light when we need it.  

In order to truly thrive in life, you have to be broken open to let the light of the world in.  You also have to be broken open to let your own light out.  The world depends on it.

When You Find Your Tribe

Where in the world would we be without our friends?  Friends are completely vital in this world today.  We need each other to get through this beautiful madness called life.  I have been blessed to have made wonderful friends over the years.  Some have come and gone from my life, but others have stayed and become my family.

The tribe of eclectic souls that I have chosen to surround myself with are truly a tribe, in every sense of the word.  We are warriors, mothers, artists, comedians, healers, griots, performers, singers, and scribes.  The best way for me to describe us would be, a cosmic elixir.  We heal each other, just by being around each other. I am grateful for these people, these magnificent men, women, and children who have given me so much love and life.  They have changed the way I see the world and have made my life brighter.

My tribe has saved my life.  I know that without them, I probably would not be here.  They have held me up when I couldn’t walk.  They have believed in me and encouraged me when I had no hope left.  They have poured life to me when I was dead inside.  They saw beauty in me, when all I could see was ugliness.  They have shown me that I am not alone in this life and that the path that I am walking is filled with angels along the way.

This year, my tribe has grown by leaps and bounds.  It has become tighter, closer, stronger.  I have never had so many people who I would literally go to war for.  I would protect every single one of them with my life.  They are more than friends.  They are my family, my blood, everything. Words will never express my gratitude for everything that they have done for me.  They are amazing and magnificent.  At my lowest point they were there and they held me in love, light, healing, and divine grace.

When it all comes down to it, I love my tribe.  I love them fiercely.  We fight sometimes.  We get angry with each other, but we always come back home.  That’s what family does.  I’m honored to have them.  I am honored that God chose them for me and I am honored that He chose me for them.  My life is a colorful mosaic with them in it.  I am certain that it would be drab and uneventful without them.

This is a love letter of thanks and gratitude to my friends, my family, my tribe.  I am happy to know each one of you.  I am happy to call you family.  Thank you for being.  Thank you for your love.  Thank you for seeing me.  Thank you for believing in me.  Thank you for allowing me to be in your lives.

I carry you with me always, in my spirit, in my soul, in my heart.  You are the joy in my life and the song in my soul.  I love you all more than you know.