I’m not sure that she knows this, but she changed my world.  She changed the way I see everything.  She has awakened me to my whole life.  For a long time, I have been asleep at the wheel, mostly living inside my head and not from my soul.  She made me see that life is about being awake, savoring the moment, the people  you love, and being open to everything.

For a long time, I have lived my life from my wounds.  I’ve hidden in the shadows and let my pain serve as a comfort and a shield from everyone around me.  When you meet a genuinely good spirit, they have a tendency to shatter everything familiar and challenge all that was once normal to you.  She has opened my eyes to life and that there is more to it than just pain, suffering, and misery.  She’s shown me that there can be joy in the smallest and simplest of things.  That there can be pleasure in simply breathing, without having to fight for the breath.  That there are complexities in every moment that need to be observed without sharing it with the rest of the world through social media.  That sleeping can be a peaceful heaven, rather than a night full of fits and nightmares.

It is definitely shocking to have your world blown so wide open to things that you thought were not possible because of how you lived before.  It is scary to know that not everything is meant to be fought and struggled through.  There is beauty in knowing that peace can be yours.  There is beauty in knowing that love can save you, that it can heal you and breathe new life into parts of you that you believed were long dead.  It’s a blessing to have that and I was fortunate to experience it for at least once in my life.  From her, I take lessons that will shape the rest of my days.  She will always be important.  She will always mean everything.  She will forever be the love of my life and the reason why I find beauty in living.  It’s unfortunate that she could not stay too.  Maybe that’s the ultimate lesson: to live your life in such a way that you’re capable of handling the good things when they do come along.  To be able to stop fighting once your battle is over.  To drop the sword when there is someone who will fight for you instead.  To know that you don’t have to do it all alone.  People are sent to come and give you rest.  Savor the blessing and appreciate it when it does come to you.