Playtime is over.  After 38 years of life on this planet, I am ready for more.  Over the past few years, my spirit has slowly been awakening itself to its purpose and I have realized that I’ve been trapped inside of the Matrix.  It’s life-shattering when an awakening like this begins to occur.  Suddenly, the thickest fog you’ve ever witnessed lifts, and you see that the world around you has been mindlessly, unspeakably the same for years.  You wake up, you go to work, you plug-in, and for eight hours, you do the same exact thing, over and over, thinking that perhaps, today will be the day that everything changes.  Today, something different will happen.  The reality of the matter is that the hamster wheel has started to move faster, and your soul is growing exhausted.

When I started my current job eight years ago, my only goal was to go in, learn the job, and become great at it.  I walked in the doors, learning everything, mastering it, all while keeping my head down and doing the work.  That being said, the beast inside me is bored and is ready for a new adventure.

Change is never easy, nor is it comfortable.  Sometimes, you have to take a step out on faith and trust that the wings you have are strong enough to carry you in uncertain winds.  When everything around you becomes uncomfortable, it’s a sure sign that you have to start shedding things and taking a hard look at what is truly in your life for you.  Don’t cling to the things or people who are draining you.  You have to start searching for what truly fills your soul, the things that help you project and share your light with the world.  It doesn’t matter if you’re 8, 38, or 88.  Sometimes the best security is uncertainty.  Clinging to what’s safe can be a sure-fire way to miss out on the thing that you were put on this planet to do.  You have to let go of what’s not working and find a way to the things that make your heart beat, the things that give your soul life.

I am embarking on the biggest journey of my life.  I am going to heal the wounds of my heart, and satisfy the longing of my soul.  I am going to do the work that needs to be done in order for me to be a better person, a better woman, a better partner, and a better citizen of this work.  This will not be easy, nor will it be pretty.  Dark and scary work is ahead of me.  I go into this journey with minimal worry, because I know that God would not have put these feelings of unrest, incompleteness, and discontent in me without a reason for doing so.  I’m paying attention to the signals He has sent and I surrender all control to His will.

This blog will tell the story of my journey, the trials and tribulations, the joy and pain.  It’s time for me to get to my happy.  I’m hoping that we all learn something along the way.