Sometimes we choke on the dust and bones of what people leave behind in us.  Pain, hurt, betrayal, unrequited love, jealousy, sadness, heartbreak, all things that people can leave when they pass through our lives, like hurricanes that wreak havoc on vulnerable islands.  People can come into our lives, take us by storm, then leave us empty, depleted, barren.

Most of the time though, people can leave us with indelible lessons, things that have made us wiser, stronger, better, more empowered than we were before we met them.  Some people breathe life into you, give you strength, and help you see the light through the darkness.  Sometimes, they calm the storms that ravage you.  They tend to wounds left by others, and heal us with love, generosity, and kindness.

In times such as these, it’s important to be mindful of what you leave behind in people.  Take great care of your relationships.  Spend time with people who mean the world to you.  Reach out to people you know who are struggling.  Sit with your neighbor who is elderly and alone.  As quick as it is to send a text, sometimes, it’s better to use your phone for actual conversations.  This is something I am terrible with myself, but I am working on getting better about it.  Think about the words we use with each other, the things we say to our children,  the jokes we make about people, and the gossip we share amongst friends.  Try to be mindful of what we say to ourselves.  Do you ever take the time to say, “I love you,” to yourself?  I try to do it every morning when I’m looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my teeth or brushing my hair.  It’s a challenge because I really hate looking at myself in the mirror.  It’s hard for me to stand there and take a long, hard look.  Mostly, because I see the wounded, hurt, sad little girl in the shadows of my eyes.  I always see her, and I feel guilty because I wasn’t good to that little girl and I am now only just learning to be nice to her, to speak up for her, and protect her.  That’s the graveyard I see, every time I look in the mirror.

Be mindful of what you leave in people.  Be careful with your words.  Be honorable in your actions.  Be loyal to those who love you. Give hope to people who are hopeless.  Speak life into those who don’t have the strength to go on.  Speak love to those who have been hurt.  Encourage those who have lost their faith.  Be gentle with everyone, and be gentle with yourself.  We all need each other to get through this messy world.  The worst thing you could ever do to someone is leave them with a graveyard in their eyes or bones in their throat.